January 2012
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we'd probably liveblog the end of the world
omg earthquake!!!!
flood is coming!!
omg water is in my house
nO NOT MY COMPUter
it's ok i have service on my phone guys
OMG MY SISTER IS DROWnING
aw a fireman is here
he's giving my sister mouth 2 mouth
i ship it omg
otp; i know how to save a life
whoa the earth is like breaking open
byE
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in honor of 2011 i have wasted the final day of 2011 just like how i wasted every other day in 2011
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New Years Resolution: Survive the Apocalypse
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December 2011
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reginaweasley asked: I LOVE your url. x
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I pissed off some teen age kid at a table I was...
Me: I'm sorry, I'll be back with the right plate
Him: whatever
*as I turn to walk away*
Him: *talking to his friends* he's probably a homo, he's too distraught.
*i turn back to the table*
Me: you know, you shouldn't talk about the dude who's about to serve your food, right beside him. Also, learn the definition of homo, it's a root word that means, "man" in which yes I am a man, more of one than you will ever dream to be. So if you're intentions were referring to me being a homoSEXUAL as in MAN-sexual, which I am, then use a correct form of it. Now, sit there little boy, while this gay man goes to get your food for you.
*i leave and come back*
Me: here's your AIDs stuffed burrito you ordered.
His friends tipped me $20
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me: hey guys talk to me im nice
followers:
Some hot tumblr famous person: i like chips
follower #1: omg what flavour?
follower #2: me too!
follower #3: what brand omg
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dobie:
HOW TO: open a new text post and type letters a-z into the tags and take your favorite tag it suggests and post it out of context. this only works if you use tags as obsessive conversational add-ons like me, and if your computer saves the tags you’ve used before.
A - and they start sexin it up
B - being a creeper is fun
C - COULDN’T YOU JUST BE NAKED?
D - do not disturb my...
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If you're not reading my tags you're missing the...
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when i stub my toe or something i always shout “FUCK ME!”
because i want everyone to know that i may be hurt, but i’m still single
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Random attractive person: Do you like The Hunger Games?
Me:
Random attractive person:
Me:
Random attractive person:
Me:
Random attractive person:
Me: So, I'm thinking a spring wedding, maybe even autumn I like Saturday yeah we can invite a lot of people or maybe even none at all lol I actually know a lot of people on the internet who could come or we can just elope or like whatever you prefer and like do you want chidlren I was thinking maybe one or two also what are your plans for retirement or I don't know do you want to be buried side by side or cemated?
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sometimes i hate living with my dad.
he’s such a giant cheapskate.
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